Words of Wisdom 008: On observation and learning to see

You can't change what you can't see. You can't overcome what you don't observe.

Observation opens the door to transformation. Whatever you are trying to change, awareness is always the first and necessary step for that change to occur.

Are you stuck in a cycle? If you are focused too narrowly on a particular moment and not what led up to that moment, you'll miss the opportunity for deeper insight on how change can best flow.

Is your marriage struggling? If you can't see the distance between you and your spouse, and you think your marriage is "good enough," why would you take intentional steps to change it? You'll maintain the status quo, which will keep you on track to remain distant or more likely, fall even further away from the one you love.

Are you having a difficult conversation? If you don't notice your heart beating faster, your jaw tightening, the scowl on your face, the sarcasm in your voice, or the perceived threat or risk of rejection, then how can you take a step back and observe?

Practice

Observation is one of the most powerful tools to grow in wisdom. But how, specifically, do you do it?

There are different tools, techniques, and strategies to grow in observation. Here are a few practices for how to grow in your observational skills over time.

Sit in nature. Get out to a wild place and sit. Take in the view. Bathe in the beauty.

Walk slowly. Go on a walk, feel the sun and wind, notice the physical sensation you experience. See the clouds. Drink deeply in the simple pleasure of a slow walk.

Meditate. Focus on your breath.

Take a minute break. Just sit still for one minute.

Listen specifically in a conversation. Focus on listening to summarize the content of what is said and any feeling words you hear. Then reflect them back in the conversation. Listening specifically gives your mind something to do and helps you stay more focused.

Drink or eat slowly. Do nothing else. Chew your food many times before swallowing. Focus on the texture and flavor and richness of the food. Feel the warmth or coolness of the drink.

Lectio Divina. Take a passage of Scripture and read it, slowly, three times. Pause for a minute or three between each reading, and be open to whatever might stand out to you, to what God might be speaking to you about from the passage.

Step back. In a conversation or a meeting, take a step back, mentally or physically, take a deep breath and look around. Look at things at a higher level and ask yourself: what's going on here?

Listen to music. Practice listening by choosing an entire album or even a single song, and be as fully present while you listen. It's easy to use music as background noise while doing something else rather than as our sole focus.

Look deeply. Go to a museum and sit and reflect deeply on the art. Take in the patterns and themes in the styles you see. Delve into the rich detail of the experience.

To summarize, improve your observation skills by single-tasking. Do one thing at a time, mindfully, and be as fully present as you can be.

Quotes

Beauty remains, even in misfortune. If you just look for it, you discover more and more happiness and regain your balance. A person who's happy will make others happy; a person who has courage and faith will never die in misery.

Anne Frank, Diary of a Young Girl

Human freedom involves our capacity to pause, to choose the one response toward which we wish to throw our weight.

Rollo May, The Courage to Create

Questions

What do I see?

Where am I right now?

What's missing?

Endnote

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Live wisely,

Josh

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