Words of Wisdom 012: On better conversations

It's Thanksgiving tomorrow here in America. It got me thinking about gathering with family and loved ones and conversations I have with people I've talked to many times. How do you improve on the quality of those conversations?

It's simple enough to talk about everyday things like the weather and recent events, and these things are fine. It can be more challenging to have more meaningful conversations. But the opportunity to have rich discussions is all around us! So I thought I'd share about one way to have better conversations in today's Words of Wisdom newsletter. I was interviewed on a podcast! Check out the interview by Chris Rodriguez, a mindset and movement coach, and dear friend. To know Chris is to laugh and think. He is full of joy and curiosity and can dance like nobody's business. Check out his podcast here!

On better conversations

Shallow conversations aren't bad. But why not go deeper? Here's a simple way to improve your conversations. Ask for stories.

The story of someone's life is a treasure. It is full of rich opportunities for connection, meaning, and understanding.

If you want to get to know someone better:

  • Ask how they learned such-and-such.
  • Ask how they made an important decision.
  • Ask to be told the story of a life transition.

Story asking helps people know you're interested. It invites detail. It shows you are curious.

But don't stop there. Stay curious, keep engaging, and explore the story:
Join in the emotion of the story.
Ask follow-up questions.
Ask what happened next.
Identify challenges.
Give empathy.

One of the most valuable things in life is to be deeply known. Practice the skill of story asking to improve your conversations.


"No story lives unless someone wants to listen. The stories we love best do live in us forever."

J.K. Rowling

"Many stories matter. Stories have been used to dispossess and to malign. But stories can also be used to empower, and to humanize. Stories can break the dignity of a people. But stories can also repair that broken dignity."

Chimamanda Adichie


Tell me the story of when...?

I want to hear more about ...?


Stay curious, my friends! Keep learning about other people, both those close to you and those most different from you.

Feel free to rave about Words of Wisdom to a friend! Life is too short to not focus on what is meaningful. Send amazing people here to join.

Live wisely,


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