What are your greatest sources of pain and regret?
How have you been most deeply wounded?
Is there any pain that feels so heavy it is unspeakable?
Pause a moment to reflect.
Is there any pain that weighs you down?
If you hold back and don't give words to your pain, your heart will remain tormented.
If you dare to talk about your pain, you can be healed as you become more deeply known. Your pain can become redeemed. Not only this, your pain can even become a source of your power.
Some people believe that our wounds and darkest moments of shame disqualify us from helping others.
For those who know, everything in our life is worthwhile. Our darkness is part of what makes us who we are today, and we don't wish to change anything. We have learned that suffering is necessary, and sometimes our most profound grief is self-inflected!
When we integrate our pain and regrets, it transforms us in unexpected ways.
Your sources of pain, your wounds, and your problems from your past can become the source of your impact and freedom and gifts to the world in your future.
Tell someone your story. If you've told it, retell it. Keep telling your story. Tell your story to people like you and people very different from you.
Make it a goal to slow down and hear the stories of those around you and enter into the grand and fascinating drama of their life.
One of the saddest things I hear from some clients is that no one has ever really listened to them with careful attention and presence.
One of the greatest gifts you can give to someone is to listen to their story deeply, curiously, and with love.
"The more clearly you understand yourself and your emotions, the more you become a lover of what is."
"Instructions for living a life. Pay attention. Be astonished. Tell about it."
Red Bird, Mary Oliver
What's your story?
What source of pain has become your source of strength?
Who will you ask, 'Tell me the whole story about _______.'?
If you feel an internal resistance to all of this, if you don't like the idea of telling your story to others, it might mean there are yet-to-be-discovered treasures when you boldly share your story with a trusted friend or advisor. It is an unspeakable gift to be known. Take the leap and tell your story.
P.S. If you'd like to share the gifts of Words of Wisdom with someone you care about, you know what to do. Send people here.