WoW 058: On the unknowns of transformation [Words of Wisdom]

In my work as a therapist, I get to know brave people seeking significant transformation. They wrestle with the costs of change before they have experienced it.

Before experiencing the benefits of transformation, you must pay the price. The more you seek to change, the greater the cost.

The greater the transformation, the more you must face the terror of the cost.

The costs of this terrible transformation emerge before the benefits.

Before the transformation, we don't know what we don't know.

The more significant the transformation, the more difficult it is to perceive the benefits and the less desirable the change will be.

The costs for experiencing transformation typically appear incredibly high. Or, we fool ourselves if we imagine them to be meager.

If we fully understood the cost of change, most would never begin.

Mystery and uncertainty are always a part of the journey of significant growth.

The more we think we understand before experiencing transformation, the more likely the experience of that transformation is hidden from us. When you think you know something, you may be furthest from knowing. To the degree that you are proud, not humble about what you know, the less you know.

Your curiosity and openness to ask questions is a sign of growth and is always welcomed by those who are more mature than you are.

Daring to hope precedes taking action.

Taking action precedes transformation.

This helps show the value of specific practices that will help you experience transformation—doing leads to change in being and thinking.

Transformation, like recovery, is easy, and all it takes is everything you have, including acting in the face of uncertainty.


"One of the painful things about our time is that those who feel certainty are stupid, and those with any imagination and understanding are filled with doubt and indecision."

Bertrand Russell, New Hopes for a Changing World

"There are known knowns, things we know that we know; and there are known unknowns, things that we know we don't know. But there are also unknown unknowns, things we do not know we don't know."

Donald Rumsfeld, Known and Unknown


What new approach, perspective, or experience can you try?

What is the downside of staying curious?


May you be filled with wonder.

May you have the courage to sit with uncertainty and live out your values.

Live wisely,


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