Words of Wisdom, Email Newsletter
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Take the next 56 or so breaths slowly and reflect deeply on your life. I hope these words help you grow in you the most valuable treasure in life: wisdom. Wisdom grows imperceptibly but flourishes like a mighty oak, standing the test of time
WoW 107: On self discovery. Questions, Part 1
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As a therapist I get to see the power of questions every single day.
Just like Lucy entering Narnia through the unsuspecting wardrobe in The Chronicles of Narnia, asking a question, or a series of questions, is like opening a magical door to an entirely new world of possibility.
In the first session with my clients I usually tell them that my job is to work myself out of a job.
One of the ways I hope to do that is to empower deep self reflection and self discovery.
By helping clients grow in the skill of asking powerful questions, they get to experience seemingly magical transformation as they face the truth with courage and curiosity.
What is self discovery?
Self discovery is a regular practice in self reflection by asking powerful questions.
It draws on the Socratic Method and Solution Focused Questions.
What are the benefits of self discovery?
- Discover new ideas by identifying important problems.
- Develop new words for these new ideas. New language opens the door for making powerful new meaning and purpose in your life.
- Develop a framework for asking better questions
- Powerful questions increase your influence.
- Challenge false beliefs
- Improve relational intimacy. the more you know yourself, the more you can express yourself. The more you can express yourself, the more you can be known.
- Improve self control. The more you can identify your thoughts and feelings clearly, the more you can stay self controlled and not let your feelings rule you.
- Grow in logical and rational thinking. Asking powerful questions helps you think more clearly. It can help you identify distorted thinking and grow in the virtue of living in true knowledge.
- Solve challenging problems.
- Become more creative
What types of questions are used in self discovery?
Clarifying questions. Questions to deepen understanding, think logically, explore the evidence.
Exploratory questions. Questions to deepen your curiosity, challenge your perspective, and invite new stories to be told.
Purposeful questions. Questions to help you live intentionally, love well, and take meaningful action
How can I implement these questions?
You can implement this in a variety ways. Experiment and find what works best for you.
Here are a few ideas:
- Reflect on the question with a time of prayer.
- Journal on each question in the morning when the world is still and quiet.
- Write the question down in your journal right before you sleep. Immediately when you wake up, journal the answer.
- Collect these questions and each week on a walk ask your spouse the one that stands out to you.
- Bring a question into your personal therapy, or talk about the question with a mentor.
- Practice asking a friend great questions.
- You might be struck to the core by a question and want to choose to journal on the same question each day for a period of time.
We will explore the power of questions in the upcoming weeks. I've said previously:
"Being curious puts you in a mindset to learn and grow. Curiosity turns every experience you face into an opportunity for growth. Learn to observe your thoughts and feelings with curiosity."
Questions grow your curiosity and are the soil for transformation to occur.
Asking the right questions with curiosity and courage and you will unleash surprising growth.
“They open a door and enter a world”
C.S. Lewis, The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe
"Ultimately, we are seeking a better understanding of what it means to be human. In this quest, progress is not made by finding the "right" answers, but by asking meaningful questions."
Terry Winograd and Fernando Flores, Understanding Computers and Cognition
"...answers establish an edifice of facts; but questions...make the frame in which (the) picture of facts is plotted. They make more than the frame; they give the angle of perspective, the palette, the style in which the picture is drawn..."
Suzanne Langer, Philosophy in a New Key
What is one of your favorite questions?
What question have you been avoiding?
What is the most important question you can ask yourself right now?
(Use these questions as a journal prompt and prayers this week)
What areas do you want to grow in when it comes to asking questions? Respond to this email and it’ll help influence what I can do to help you grow.
Did someone send this to you? Do you want to cultivate more of the good, true, courageous, and beautiful in your life?
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